I had a really nice weekend. It was so fun to see my family, especially my cousin and her baby. He is just delightful to be around. My favorite part of the visits, though, was watching my parents flip out for him. My mom is a friend to all babies, so that is to be expected, but this particular baby is the only one we have ever met who ISN’T afraid of my dad, and actually likes him. So Dad was right there with Mom, taking pictures and videos, and trying to make him laugh. David and I went to my parent’s house for breakfast yesterday, and when I walked in my mom was like oh yeah, we thought you could make the eggs. I’ll be over here, with the baby.
Isn’t it really sad that summer is almost over? I look forward to its arrival every year, and then I blink, and it’s over. There’s always a moment around the 4th of July when I notice how quickly it’s slipping away, and reassure myself that there are still two months left. Now, here I am in late August, and I’m not sure where all that time went. Logically, this shouldn’t be sad, since it’s been a great summer, full of fun stuff. But I can’t shake my summer traditions that I didn’t do.
I’ve barely made it to the pool (which makes me so, so sad), I’ve only been to two movies at the art museum, where usually I only miss one or two, and I’m eating far too many of my meals indoors. I have good reasons for these things: I’ve been too busy starting my business to spend time at the pool during the day like I used to (when I didn’t have a job), and in the evenings I try to go to yoga class or cook good meals, two things that are helping me feel healthier and better about myself than I ever have before. I’d say that’s a positive change. All of the missed movies at the art museum have been because we were either out of town or had plans with friends. That’s better than sitting at those movies and wishing I had a group of friends like all of the other moviegoers.
Despite knowing that it’s okay, I still feel sad that these things are wrapping up, and I haven’t been a part of them.
Life is just this series of fleeting moments that seem permanent. When we’re kids, the years seem to stretch out so long – 13 years old feels ancient to an 8 year old – but then, one day you look up and 10 years have gone by, and you’re the boring older person you used to dread visiting because they didn’t have any cool toys. Some day the babies I play with now will be graduating from high school, and what seems so permanent now will just be the good old days. The pictures I take now will be the pictures these kids look at, and laugh at my weird hair and propensity for turning everything sepia.
There’s an internal conflict that I struggle with. This time is so precious, and it is so important to appreciate every moment of it before it’s gone forever, like this summer. But it’s not possible to be in the moment and fully appreciate my life if I’m always worrying about living life to the fullest.
I guess going forward, I just have to remember what’s important to me. Just because this summer didn’t turn out exactly like I planned doesn’t mean it wasn’t a great summer. It was a huge improvement over last year, that’s for sure. I still have a couple weeks left – I should just make time for the things I want to do, instead of bemoaning the things I missed. This fall is going to be great, I can already tell. And, there’s something I should keep in mind.
There’s always next summer.